


(don't speak the language) but your booty don't need explaining

by pulisics



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Crushes, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Teasing, christian is embarrassed 24/7, idk how to tag, marco and mario have adopted felix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 22:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8818816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulisics/pseuds/pulisics
Summary: He actually begged Emre – who was crying and clutching his stomach after the interaction – to kill him because he had to listen to "10 ways to touch his butt without him noticing" by Marco Reus.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eafay70](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/gifts).



> for the lovely @eafay70 because we adore chelix

Christian loved Felix's butt. Don't get him wrong, he loved everything about his best friend, but on a scale from 1 to 10, his butt was somewhere between Nicki Minaj and Kim Kardashian - _but less fake obviously_. It wasn't his fault that Puma made such tight kits or that his friend's laces would get untied so often, especially when he was walking in front of Christian. It wasn't fair and at this point Christian was sure that the universe had something against him. Not that he minded the view, just the fact that everybody figured out his liking towards the other boy's backside. Everybody except for Felix himself, thankfully.  

Felix's parents – Marco and Mario – were probably the worst. Ever since people started pointing out the resemblance between them and the young player, they decided to adopt Felix and of course they had something to say about this. Mario was the one who cornered Christian, wanted to know Christian's intentions with his son and did the whole _"if you break his heart I'll break your leg (okay not leg because mate you're actually really good but maybe hand or nose or something like that, you know?)"_ talk.  

On the other hand, Marco laughed his ass off. He was the one who understood everything because _"the boy got the butt from Mario so I know the feel"_ and Christian wanted to die on the spot. He actually begged Emre – who was crying and clutching his stomach after the interaction – to kill him because he had to listen to **"10 ways to touch his butt without him noticing"** by Marco Reus.  

If Christian thought that those awkward moments were the most embarrassing things in his life, well, he was very wrong. It all started on their way home from the RheinEnergieStadion. They were entering the bus when Auba and Dembs decided that it was a good time to start discussing who's better at FIFA, which resulted in half of the team being stuck on the stairs, between the two narrow walls at the bus entrance. Of course, Felix and Christian were at the very middle of the crowded group, because universe hated Christian _that_ much. 

He could think of a few reasons why this was indeed a horrible situation: 

  1. He was squashed between one of the walls and Felix 
  2. Felix's elbow was destroying his kidney 
  3. There was little to no air 
  4. He couldn’t move at all 
  5. Marco fucking Reus was behind him  
  6. Marco fucking Reus had a mischievous look on his face 



The last one was by far the worst one. Hundreds of scenarios filled Christian's head when he saw Pierre wink at Reus, but he could never think of this one. Marco pushed him towards Felix and since his arm was already down and he couldn't move it, instead of gripping Felix's arm like he was supposed to, he grabbed his butt. And in that moment Christian Mate Pulisic realized that he was fucked.  

And in that moment also, Pierre and Ousmane decided that they had enough of their fight and with a wink in Marco's direction, they walked towards their seats. In the meantime Emre was crying from laughter _again_ and Marc and Erik were probably too busy flirting with each other to notice anything. Christian just ran to his seat really quickly and put a pair of headphones on, hoping that it will distract him from the teasing. It didn’t. 

His scowling resulted in Marco and Auba getting on their knees in the tiny bus hallway and begging for his forgiveness. It was pretty comical to some – like Piszczek who made sure to film it – and the others didn't find it that funny, aka Marcel who slapped Lukasz on the back of his head and told him to stop being rude to the children. Christian just groaned and hid his head in the nearest thing (and that – on Christian's terror – was Felix's chest).

The good thing is that the other boy just chuckled and wrapped his arms around his friend protectively, telling Auba and one of his fathers, who were still laughing to kindly piss off. The bad thing was the fact that Lukasz was still recording everything and instead of stopping him, Marcel was now leaning on him and cooing.  

"Are you still recording?" Felix asked. Lukasz just waved his phone and grinned sheepishly.  

"Oh, okay then..." He said innocently. He let go of the dark haired boy, only to sit in his lap. Christian looked shocked and was blushing even harder now as their half of the bus erupted into cheers. Felix just smirked and hid his head in the crook of Christian's neck. 

"I heard you liked my butt, so I figured you'd like this too,  _Schätzchen_."  

If the words before weren't the result of Christian's death, the pet name definitely was.  

"You know I'm going to get my revenge, right?" He whispered to the smaller one, who was still seated on his lap. 

"Mmmh, I'll enjoy seeing you trying."


End file.
